Still really confused

I can't believe that I will already be leaving home in about 24 hours. It feels like I just got here. It's great to be home. I love my family and friends so much. Leaving Rochester is not hard for me at all what so ever. I know I couldn't wait to get out of Waverly, what was the big rush for? I have missed the people here so much! I was so happy to come back to Waverly last Friday night.

You see I didn't originally plan on leaving Rochester till last Saturday morning. I was planning on staying one extra night to keep my roommate company till she left Saturday morning too. Everything was going great till I decided to put my things in my car so I could just wake up and leave the next morning. My friend Jason and I got into a fight. I got so upset I decided to just leave that night. As I was driving away I got a text from him saying I'm not mad at you. I had no idea what he was even talking about. He texted me the whole entire way home. I know I know I shouldn't have been texting and driving.

We got into a pretty heated conversation via text. This conversation actually ended up lasting the whole entire break. I'm going to share a few things that we talked about. First of we talked about modern thought, I don't really understand that, so if you know please explain. Second, he believes that God is all powerful, but he no longer believes that God has laid out a path for him to follow step by step. Now I kinda agree with it so I asked him to explain this and this it what he said: He doesn't even think God has a plan for us. It's all up to us to figure out. I sent him a bunch of verses in response to this message than I got this back: Was that written to you? What's the context of that verse? Who said it? Why did they say it? Do you understand it the same way they would back when it was originally written and read? Is it meant to be taken literally? Does everyone agree with your interpretation or are there others out there that make just as much or more sense that you have not yet considered? This is only two of the things we talked about. I have talked to a few people about this and am still really confused about this. One of my friends got really upset by this and asked if he could get this kids number and yell at him. My other friend gave be a bunch of verses to send him than hugged me, kissed my on the forehead, and said, "I love you and I don't even know what to tell you.

Raise your voice

I bet you all are wondering how my presentation went? We'll get to that a little later. I'm going to start with when I first woke up in the morning. I woke up with a sore throat and a headache. The first thing I thought oh no this can't happen now, I can only get sick after my presentation. Mind over matter right? I went to class, then bible study, then I met with my group. We had to give our presentation in front of Kimber because she wasn't going to be at the meeting later that night. Let's just  say she was not impressed at all what so ever. She ripped us apart and told us we didn't have enough emotion behind it. After that, she still did not like the boards I had done because she forgot to print off the map for me to put on it. I ended up having to go get it done and print off all the other pictures on it. I had finally had it done. Through out the whole day though I kept losing the flash drive with our presentation on it. I found it though just in time to do our presentation though! We got to the ballroom a little early so we could set up. After setting up I noticed I couldn't find my note cards anywhere. So I called my friend Jason and asked him to see if they were there. He retraced my steps  and eventually found them in the parking lot. My roommate Lacey went back and got the note cards for me.

The meeting started and my friend Austin lead worship. Than next thing I knew I was heading up to talk in front of everyone. I don't know if any of you know I kinda have a fear of speaking in front of people. My partner, Mickey, spoke first. Half way through her speech she froze and handed me the microphone and ran off stage. I was thrown off and confused. I looked at the microphone than into the crowd of people looking at me thinking how can you save this presentation? Something came over me at that exact moment. I had total peace about everything and I wasn't even nervous anymore. I spoke and some how recovered from her little break down. I spoke for forty-five minutes some how about human trafficking with out note cards. Next thing I knew I was done speaking and I was surrounded by a group of friends praying. Over all this was the best presentation I have ever done. I totally felt the holy spirit take over. It wasn't even me speaking. God is so good! Thank you all for your prayers!

Isaiah 58:1 Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet.

Done

I seriously could punch a wall right now. I'm cranky and I'm tired. Within the last four days I have spent like fifteen hours on these stupid boards. Doing these boards has killed my passion to do anything with human trafficking. I'm almost done with both of them. I only have three more things to put on then I'm done. I feel so close to being done, but yet so far away. I told my group I would do the boards if someone else worked on the presentation. Now being Sunday, we had a group of three working on it. Well at least that's what I thought. I met up with someone else in my group to ask how things were going and what I need to learn to say when presenting on Tuesday. The first thing the girl said to me I'm just to overwhelmed to do any of this. I'm too swamped in homework and other stuff. This is what was running in my mind when she said that to me; I have been working on these boards for about 15 hrs, have 4 hrs of homework, and had to work for 8 hours yesterday. And you tell me you can't even look over the power point and decide what each of us need to say?! Are you flipping KIDDING me?! I can't sleep or eat because I'm spending all my spare time doing this stupid project. Yesterday, all I ate was a fun sized box of nerds and had a vanilla cappuccino to eat and drink.  I don't have time to do anything. I'm pissed off and I don't want to do any of this anymore. I'm DONE!

What does it mean to have a Passion?

I have been updating you guys a lot about Mission 21 and what my part is in helping with this place. Now, I'm overwhelmed and pretty upset with people right now. It just seems like I can simply just say I don't like people at all. So, this Mission 21 thing is all volunteer and people are in it that have a passion for it or what something to change. For our first minor assignment we were asked to put together two tri-folds. We were given two weeks to do it. We decided to divide up the group of ten of us into two different groups. After that, each group divided up the sections of the board to do so no one would do all the work. Now, I have a great passion for this so I did my part of the work. Nobody else in the group and I mean entire group did anything for it. Now, three weeks later I'm doing both boards with little to no help at all and on top of that I have to get my presentation done. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. I spent my day off of work in the library for five hours today working on just one poster board. It's not even done yet, and I still have one more to do with no time to do it. God, if you're out there and listening I sure could use some help and time.

After dealing with all of these people that say they have a passion for this it made me think what does it mean to have a passion?
Passion; To be acutely interested in it, willing to put substantial energy into promoting it, willing to sacrifice for it, and hardly able to keep from talking about it. 

How do we obtain divine passion for ourselves? 

God places His passion within us when He gives us the Holy 

Spirit. But it lies dormant unless we present our bodies to Him as 

a living sacrifice. In other words, God brings His passion to life 

in those who are willing to sacrifice. 

Is this my passion? What's your passion? Words of advice 

Navigators

I have been given an amazing opportunity!!! I'm really excited and if everything goes through liked plan, then I will be speaking in front of group of young adults older than me on November 13th. I ask you guys for prayer! I pray that God will use me to speak to each individual in the room that night. I'm both nervous and excited to do this. I have a fear of speaking in front of a large group of people. Pray that I won't freeze up in front of everyone. Also I want to know what to say to pierce the hearts of every single person in that room. Prayers are welcome if I didn't mention it enough. If this works out I know this is what God wants me to do! I'm really excited...God is doing great things. We're changing the world and I can feel a move in today's generation already!

Mattoo

It seems like every time I get down about being here God shows me why I'm here. I know it won't just happen, but I want to just have it happen and stop waiting. I see that God is teaching me patients which I have none of right now. After feeling down for most of the week my grandparents came into town and had dinner with my cousin and I. It was great getting together with them and have some family time. After dinner I went back to campus and we had a Halloween party. It was a lot of fun, but very cold I even broke out my winter coat. Around 11 p.m. my cousin and I decided to go to a small party. Yes, it was a drinking but I didn't care. It was pretty classy not to many people and everyone wasn't there to get drunk. They were able to drink with still having a good time without getting drunk. I got talking to this girl there. We started chatting then after a while we started talking about human trafficking. I told her about the program I was helping out with here in Rochester. I told her about backpages.com and showed her all the women selling themselves that day in Rochester and how we report people and stuff like that. She than asked me if I had ever heard of MATTOO? I said yea, I had heard about it, but didn't know much. She than told me her cousin, aunt, and uncle all help out with MATTOO. Her uncle and her cousin are big part in the whole MATTOO company. Ron Hanson | US Director Andrew D. Hanson, M.P.P | Founder & Chairman.  Small world I would say, God still amazes me, I wonder what he has planned? Yesterday, I watch Taken 2. It was great, go watch it if you haven't. Today, in church the pastor spoke of human trafficking. I don't think God could be anymore clear on what I'm suppose to do. We'll see where he takes me.

Today is the day?

After spending fall break at home, I had a hard time coming back. I faced some of my problems going back (didn't solve, but better than nothing?) Monday was hard going to classes all day then working. I composed myself well and made myself think that it's only a with drawl. Tuesday was great no problems had a great mind set. I was determine to have another great day today. I woke up and things got bad. I was still in a positive mind set though. I was sitting in class and I got an encouraging text from a friend of mine. I was right if I thought positive than everything would be great. I was wrong, I got into a argument over something I had no control over what so ever. I was still determined to not let that affect me though, so I went for a run. I felt great after that then got to have a nerf gun war with friends. It was great! After I went and showered and took my roommate to the store with me. We got back and sat down and watched a movie with my R.A. Then I got a message on facebook and a text message that just turned my day around. I packed up my bags and decided to head home. I'm done here I can't do this. Thankfully I have one person here that is looking out for me. She drove to where I was and sat in my car and talked with me for a hour and so how convinced me to come back at least for the night. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I don't feel called here. There has to be a reason I'm here though right? I'm so confused and have lost almost all my faith so far. I give advice about Jesus all the time but don't take it myself. What do I do? Help!

Turn every Victim into a Survivor

I want to update you guys a little about what's been going on. I did end up going to the meeting. Now it wasn't what exactly what I was expecting. Going into this I was hoping for more of a hands on experience. This isn't what exactly I'm getting, but I'm some how still getting a hands on experience. The first meeting was two weeks ago. Since than, we have come up with fundraising ideas, started on our presentations, and taken a class about trafficking.

Yesterday, was when we took the class that pretty much lasted half of the day. It was very intense in your face of what the hard cold facts are about this situation. Now I admit that I already knew much of what they were talking about. The only thing that I didn't really know was the laws helping with this. After taking this class my heart is still in a place where I want more hands on experience helping these kids get out of it. I heard a story of a group of pastors from Cedar Rapids, Iowa that carry guns with them and physically go into the brothels and remove the victims. Now, this is way hands on and I don't know if I want that exactly, but this is more my style.

Last night I had a dream about human trafficking. Before I go into this dream I want to tell you that I have been praying that God helps me understand the victims in this situation. I want to be able to experience what they have gone through so I can help them. I want him to give me the hearts of them. I know crazy who in there right mind would ever pray to become a victim? Me, that's right I prayed it. I don't think I would actually like the real life experience, but I got something close to it in my dream. I don't even know if I should call this a dream or nightmare? Well, this is my dream/nightmare.

The music was bumping and the lights were flashing, the air was covered with a thick layer of smoke. I could barely see my way through the room, in fact I couldn't see five feet in front of me. That's when it happened, he grabbed my hand and said come with me. He took me up to the V. I. P room. He was sweet, offered me a drink and asked if I was ok? We hit it off, it seemed like we had only been talking for five minutes, but in reality it had been three hours. He offered to drive me home, I said yes because I had lost my friends in the midst of the club.

The next few hours were a blur for me, I had way too much to drink and the guy slipped something into my drink. I remember looking out the window passing my house and seeing my friends stumbling into the front door. I was numb I couldn't say anything or do anything. I looked over at the guy and in slow motion I heard him say I'm taking you back to my place. In my head I was thinking I shouldn't I don't even know him, but he's sweet and saved me in the club. Next, thing I remember was  waking up on a twin size bed with one sheet and no pillow. I was in a panic where was I? How did I get there? Who were these people next me? I got up as fast as I could to be knocked down to my feet. My head was pounding and I the worst headache of my life. I was confused what possible could be happening to me?

I'm going to have to end there for tonight...there's a lot more to the dream, but I don't want to get to graphic on here. If you would like to hear more about this dream... feel free to contact me or I can write another post about the whole thing. I have a prayer requests for all of you though. I ask that you pray that God will help me understand the situation these victims are in so that I can help them, give me the desire to stick through if this is what I'm called to do, help me understand why I'm here, and finally I ask that you pray that God uses me for his will.

I have been given the chance to become really close to this young man named Jason lately. I already cherish the time and intimate conversations we are able to have. This young man has been able to push me and make me think. He loves to always ask why. He's like a child in a since always asking why. At first it got very annoying but after a while I understand why he does it. Recently we have been able to talk later a night till about midnight for the last week or so. We're able to talk openly with each other about pretty much everything. One night he asked why I was at CrossRoads College. Being the person I am I said," to get an education" Then he said no, you're not answering my question why are you here? you can get an education anywhere, but why here out of all the other places in the world? I honestly don't know the answer myself to this question.

I have been thinking about this question a lot lately. I want to know why I'm really here. I honestly can't answer this question. I don't know why I'm here. The only thing I can say is that God wanted me here for  a reason. If any of you know me before I came here I struggled so much with actually going to school. I honestly still thinking to this day that I'm not called to go to school. I think that it's a waste of time especially when I could just go out and do what Jesus wants me to do. The only problem is that I don't know what my calling is. I have been trying to figure this out for a while. The other reason I am here where I am is because I promised my best friend I would come and try at least a semester before I shoot it down. She kept up her side so I had to keep up mine.

It hit me today that I finally think I know what it is. Ever since I have seen the movie Taken I have heard something about human trafficking everyday. I didn't really notice it at first. Just a little reference or something stupid that made me remind me of it. This has been happening for about a year and a half now. The only problem with this is that it affects with my plans with being able to help kids. So I didn't feel called to this because I knew if this is what I was suppose to do it would some how involve kids. I just let this pass by for months now. When I moved to Rochester I have been praying to God asking why do you want me here? What's my plan? How am I going to glorify you? I feel like it was a never ending prayer so I finally got fed up. One night when I was sitting in a room full of people I got extremely lonely so I left and took a walk by myself. I walked up to the hill looking over the city of Rochester.

As I sat there I let my pandora station play while I laid there just asking God what do you want me to do? Why am I here? If there is a reason I ask you to make it clear to me why I'm here. The next day at chapel we had two different speakers come in that were CrossRoad graduates. One that graduated and is now part of Cupcake Girls in Oregon. She goes into strip clubs at nights and loves on the girls that are victims of human trafficking. I thought to myself this is great Jesus, but it's not what I'm called to do because it doesn't involve kids what so ever. After she spoke another CrossRoads college graduate spoke. She told us how she was part of a group called mission 21 here in Rochester. Yes, people you are right it's another human trafficking organization. This isn't your ordinary organization though. It's a organization to help kids under the age of 18. Wow, I was blown away a human trafficking organization specializing in kids!? In fact the only one in Minnesota.

She later proceed to tell us more about the organization and invited us all to go to the banquet that they are having to raise money. She told us that if we wanted to help that they had a work shop she wanted us to take so we could help out. Me, being the stupid person I am said to God if this is really what you want me to do than you will make it come to me. I know really stupid there's been enough signs already. But hey I'm stubborn in that way. So I left it at that.

That was last Thursday that I said that. I'm not going to lie but everything I did this weekend some how had human trafficking in the kid range pop up. What really got me was the movie End of Watch. I actually recommend that movie to everyone. I finally prayed last night and said enough is enough it's not going to happen. Today when my friend Jason and I were walking to the soccer game professor Kimber stopped me when we were walking. We made some small talk than she just got right down to it. I have never had Kimber as a professor yet I will however if I choose to stay with my phycology major though. I have maybe said hi once when she was introduced to me at the beginning of the year. She turns to me and says we're having a work shop on Tuesday about mission 21 at 11. I know you talked to me about it before so I thought I should tell you about this. I have never talked to her about it ever. I told her that and she was like well some how I knew I was suppose to tell you about this I hope to see you there. It's right there on a silver platter this is what I think I'm suppose to do. I'm going to that meeting and we will see where it takes me. I hope this is truly what Jesus has called me to do.

Think outside of the box

My friend Jason showed me Messy Monday videos last night. We watched this video than got in a pretty heated discussion. My friend Jason loves to argue. Well, he likes know everything and always ask why so he can get the whole perspective. We were talking about judging Christians and if it's OK to kick people out of the church. Now I believe that we have no right to tell people that their not Christians. He than asks me if we can we be like Paul? My answer is we can strive to be Paul but we can never be Paul. So in reality I feel that we don't have the right to kick people out of the church. He than asks me again can we be like Paul? I again say the same answer. He then says so we can be like Paul? I said yes this time. So he proceeds to ask if we strive to be like Paul we can kick people out of the church than? How do you stand on this whole thing about judging Christians and if it's OK to kick people out of the church?

Trust Him

Let's flip backwards. Five moves, I think, and I end up in Rochester. It's weird seeing all of these boxes stacked up against the wall. This place that I call "home" will no longer be my "home".  For the next year I will be living without my parents. It's crazy to think how fast this came up. I'm scared but extremely excited to start this journey I'm about to embark on. My biggest worry would have to be leaving all these wonderful people I have at home. I'm afraid that I won't get that there that I do here. At the beginning of the summer I was given a book by a friend of mine and was told to read it before I start college. Well, I didn't read it. I only read the first two pages that was it. One of them was talking about overcoming obstacles.

Here is the one of them:

Everyone has obstacles that need to be overcome: health issues, family issues, learning disabilities, emotional battles. Whatever your obstacles are, God is right there trying to help you overcome them. He will give you the strength and perseverance to break bad habits and make wise decisions, to seek out healthy relationships and push through man-made barriers that prevent you from being the mighty Christ warrior that He wants you to be.

Here's the challenge:
Sit down with a trusted friend and ask some of those hard questions, such as,"What do you see as an obstacle in my life right now?" Be prepared to be accountable with that friend in helping you overcome that obstacle; set goals to help you overcome this stumbling block in your life.

God, Where are you?

Too often I hear people talk guiltily about feeling anger toward God. More often than not, we get angry at God over things over which we have no control. If we don't control it, God must - someone has to be in control!
It may be a failed relationship. Or the death of a loved one. Or our cumulative grief over the on-going HIV/AIDS crisis. Or financial worries. Or any number of things about which we feel we have no control.
And we feel guilty. We feel we shouldn't get angry at God! We worry that God's feelings will be hurt. Or worse yet, God will return our anger - and we all know how much better at being angry God could be!
Nonsense.
I say, Go ahead, be angry at God!
I'm going to be honest with all of you. I went to New Orleans this past week and it literally was hell for me. It was the worst week of my life. I don't understand why something like this would happen. Why me? Why this situation? What's the outcome of this? If God is so good than why is there pain and evil?( I know it because we all sin and suck(that's not a good enough answer for me))Why am I the one feeling pain? Why would you turn the safest places to be the worst place to be?  Why would you use your time for this to happen? How could God allow this to happen? How am I suppose to trust you? Where was God when I needed him?

He said...

I heard this song at the end of a pretty rough day. I'm sure you have all heard this song. It's a great reminder. I've been recently faced with a really tough situation. Many people don't agree with the choice I'm making but there's a reason why I'm doing what I do. It's not becuase I think it's fun, or I  enjoy doing it, or just to rebel, or overall just the thrill of it. I do it becuase I feel called to do it. To do hard things and it's giving me a taste of what I actually am called to do once I move off to college. I want to tell you all that it's going to be ok becuase I know that Jesus has a plan for me. It's reasons bigger than I can understand. It's been a crazy, long, stressful journey, and sometimes I feel like giving up. I know that I can't becuase Jesus is doing great things through me. I know a lot of people say that if it's done by Jesus than he  won't put you in harms way, but what about all the martyrs in the world. They did what exactly what Jesus said and they still died. So than are people saying the people who died for Jesus didn't actually die becuase of him? Is it becuase Jesus doesn't put you in harms way? (If you seriously have an answer to that question please respond)I fear for what might happen to me but I'm ok with it becuase I know if I die I'll go to heaven.

“You may find that life is much like this trek: rocky, hopeless and at times, endless. For this reason you must stay close to the Lord and His love. Know that the Lord is there and no matter what He will heal you from the most insurmountable challenges in your life.”

A Heavenly Mindset

You turn on the news and hear of thieves breaking into homes, contents destroyed or stolen and you admit, when you keep hearing this you focus more attention on your home security. You lock doors and windows all the time these days.

I live in this world, but as a Christian I am not of this world. My greatest treasure, my relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ, cannot be taken from me.
This earthly life is so full of disappointments, so full of pain. Sometimes we grow so frustrated by our unfulfilled human needs and our longing, but the most important treasure we can hold is living in us. We have our relationship with our Lord. We have His Holy Spirit. They are ever present with us. Human free will can get us and those we love in such a mess. We do not face this earthly life alone. He is with us always. We just need to reach out to Him.
I can't say I don't feel down sometimes, but when I focus my attention on Him - when I look up and set my heart, my soul, and my mind on Him, I have a joy that comes from deep inside and nobody can take that away.

Having a “heavenly mindset” is important because sin usually begins in our thoughts. It is there where the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and pride of life compete for opportunities to entice us to go astray. If our thoughts are dwelling on carnal topics, it’s virtually guaranteed we will be sinning soon after.

How do we set our minds on heavenly things of the Spirit? Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8

Update: My best friend finally made it to basic today. After being stuck at the station for two hours, staying in Milwaukee than missing her second flight, and having to stay in Georgia by herself, she finally made it to South Carolina for training. She said it was just a crazy adventure getting to basic. The day she left was really emotional for her which isn't her. You see she's such a strong lady she feels that she shouldn't cry and show her weakness around others. I called her that night she got to her hotel before she flew out the next morning. She cried and said how much she loved me and she will never replace me. She was really scared to go fly the next morning because she had never been on a plane before and the fact that she had to do it by herself. She made it though and she was OK with the flying part but it wasn't her favorite thing to do.

Are You Good Enough to go to Heaven?

My best friend is going into the army. She leaves for basic on Monday. I got the privilege to spend the weekend with her before she leaves. She's scared and excited about this crazy journey she has embarked on. We were laying in bed talking about writing letters back and forth. She was in the middle of telling me all the things I can send her and than she turned to me and said the only book she would like sent to her if any would be her bible if she didn't bring it along with her. She said that's really the only book allowed there. I was a little shocked to hear that. Than she said to me,"If I have to kill someone in war, will I still go to heaven?" I was a little puzzled by this and responded only if... than she cut me off and asked "How do I know if I'm going to heaven" So I told her the hard cold facts about it all. Than she asked "Why is all sin equal in God's eyes?" That's one question I could not answer. Than she later proceeded to ask "Are we ever going to be good enough to go to heaven?" Honestly I don't know the answer to that so I looked it up in my bible and this is what I found.

To determine if you are good enough to make it to Heaven, take a look at the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:1-17) These laws were set up by God as a code of conduct we need to live by. How well do you think you have followed them?

The Ten Commandments
You shall have no other gods before me

You shall not make for your an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below you

You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy

You shall not murder

You shall not commit adultery

You shall not steal

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor

You shall not covet your neighbor's house

You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor

So, how did you do? If God were to judge you based on the Ten Commandments on Judgment Day, do you think you will be declared innocent or guilty? Will you be sent to Heaven or Hell? When you compare yourself to other people, you may think you are a very good person. But remember, we will be judged based on God's standard, not our own. You don't have to break all these laws to be a lawbreaker. All it takes is one violation (James 2:10). If we are honest, most of us would have to admit to breaking God's laws hundreds if not thousands of times.

You may think that because God is good, He will overlook your sins.Think about how much more righteous God is. God knows every single wrong thought and deed you have ever committed and you will be accountable. If God is truly good, He must punish liars, murderers, rapists, thieves, adulterers, fornicators, drunkards, blasphemers, and those who have lived in rebellion to God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Revelation 21:8).

Fair Punishment: The penalty for rebellion against God is eternity in Hell. Perhaps that seems too harsh if you don't consider yourself as bad as other people.
There is Hope:God gave us a conscience to convict us of our sins. But, there is good news for you. God loves you so much that He sent His son Jesus Christ to pay the price for your sins by dying on a cross (John 3:16, Romans 5:8). Then, He rose again from the grave to conquer death for all mankind. He lived a sinless life and died in your place. His death satisfied the wrath of God (John 3:36) that was due for you. The way you respond to these facts will determine where you spend eternity.

Remember, you can never earn a place in Heaven by performing good works, but only by God's grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). None of us deserve to go to Heaven. The Bible says that our good deeds are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Heaven is a gift from God because of His incredible mercy and kindness.

Perhaps you agree that you are guilty of breaking God's laws and you believe that Jesus Christ died on a cross for your sins. It isn't enough to just believe these things are true (James 2:19). You must now put your belief into action. You may be thinking that you will wait until after you die and ask God for His forgiveness then. At that point it will be too late and you will be sent to Hell forever.

You must repent from your sins and personally put your trust in Jesus Christ as the One who paid the price for your sin and rose again to defeat death and redeem mankind. Confess to God that you broke his law and ask for forgiveness for sinning against Him. Trust Him as your Lord and Savior. You will be born again and made into a new creation. Is there anything more important than knowing where you will end up after you die?

Is there anything else I should add to this so I can send it to her when she's at basic? Also a little request pray for her because she doesn't know Jesus.

Just Keep Moving On

Recently I have had lots of time to sit back and reflect back on my life(I'm not that old) Haha I sound old. My birthday is in exactly a week from today so I thought I'd take the time and reflect on how I lived my life this past year. I have had some great experiences this year but however the bad ways out the good well atleast to me. I’ve made alot of mistakes in my life. Alot of mistakes that I wish I had never made. However, a dear friend told me “My dear, God doesn’t use the perfect vessels. He loves the broken vessels the best and he uses them to glorify Him.”  It’s true, in reality we are all sinners and broken vessels. But God still uses us. The thing is, we need to learn from our mistakes and not to make them over and over again. If I have to go through life making mistakes then I hope that I will learn NOT to make them again. I’m nobody perfect, but I’m loved by a perfect God and that’s all that matters. So pick yourself up and keep moving on. Learn from your mistakes and view them as life lessons not failures.

A lesson well learned

So I have been noticing for a while that I'm a very impatient person. So in response to that I did what many people should do and asked God for patience's. I have been praying for a while for this and have well gotten the chance to practice being patience. School has just ended for us kids over here. This means that at the daycare (where I work) has the kids rotate into new rooms for the summer or the kids that are able attend school finally get into the summer program. Now here's where my patients has come in handy. We have a kid that goes there that is Autistic. If you don't know what Autism is well here you go: Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a range of complex neurodevelopment disorders, characterized by social impairments, communication difficulties, and restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior.

Now when I first heard about this I had some what of a clue what it was but didn't really understand it. Now the first day I worked with him I was over whelmed and upset that out of the 50 kids I watch on a daily bases that only one kid would not listen to me. I had to tell him so many times not to climb up the slide, run over the younger kids, hit people...etc. I had enough of this kid by about 4:30 p.m. and I still had an hour and a half left of my shift. So I did what ever other teacher did there and took the kid up front so I didn't have to deal with him.

He walked up to the front with me; going through every single room along the way. I had to chase him out of almost every single room. By the time we had got to the drinking fountain he knew that I was going to leave him up front because I no longer wanted to deal with him. He yelled, kicked, and screamed that he did not want to stay up there. By this point I could no longer take him so I grabbed my co-worker and asked her to help get this kid to sit down. She tried to help but he kept getting up and running around screaming. He was causing a big scene in front of the other parents. I walked over to him and had to physically restrain him down. I sat on the ground and held him in my lap. I didn't say a single word to him for about five minutes. I just let him yell and scream and try to get run away from him. Lucky for me I'm a lot stronger than he was so he couldn't get anywhere. Than finally it hit me I should talk to this kid and see why he's so upset. So after all this I just talked to this kid and asked him what he wanted. He had finally calmed down. Crazy after a full day of no one understanding him because everyone else didn't want to deal with him. All he wanted was someone to listen to him. Simple answer but no one gave him the time of day. So what all have I learned from this? This is what I learned. If God can be patient with me, than I can be patient with this kid or anybody else around me.

Pray for patience. God will help you keep your cool when you feel you're about to lose it
Good things do come to those who wait.
Benefits of waiting on God (Psalm 40:1-3)
God encourages us to be patient and think before we speak (Proverbs 15:8)
Love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Bittersweet Ending

Today is a day where our past, present, and future all meet. Our parents and teachers deserve credit for seeing us this far; we are responsible for what happens next.

Sitting in front of the stage in that hot gym, I must admit that I was not listening to the commencement speaker. Instead, I was thinking about the moment when my name would be called to receive my diploma and how important it would be to look as cool as possible walking across the stage. I anticipated hearing the crowd cheer and maybe pumping my fist in the air as I walked across the stage. Then it happened; someone called out “Rachel Sujatha Quast.”.

As the words of Jesus, "It is Finished" I'm finally done with my high school career. I'm not going to write much about graduation because there's way to much to share. I will how ever share with you my two favorite gifts I got for graduation. The first one I got was called, " My First 60 Days after High School Preparing for my college life" One of my best friends mom made it for me. It's a personal devotional that she wrote for herself when she was getting ready to go to college. It's filled with all of her stories and struggles she went through. I'm excited to get started on this devotional. My second favorite gift wasn't really a gift I can use. It's a great reminder. I will type up the note that came with the money that I got from my teacher Mr. Burrow.

"Our time together in this classroom is ending, but I have one last thing I want to leave you with:

Several years ago a very good family friend sat down with me and handed me a $20 bill. He told me that I should always keep it with me, but it wasn't for me to spend. he said that any time I came across someone that had a need: I should use that money to help them out. I should then replace it so I was always ready to help someone else.

This was a very meaningful to me at the time and still affects me to this day. I have to admit I have never given away that bill. Not because I haven't helped anyone-I have. I just keep that bill to remind me that I always need to be available to make the world a better place, with my money, my time, and my energy.

The amount isn't that important, it's the message that matters. Don't spend this money on yourself. Wait until you come across someone whose need is greater than yours- then you can use it. Or you can do like i have and hold onto it to remind you to always use the resources you are blessed with to make the world better than you found it.

Thanks for being a blessing in my life. You have amazing opportunities ahead of you. Don't waste a single day!"

Thanks Mr. Burrow I will cherish this letter forever.

Freedom is not a moment. It's a journey.

Recently people in my life have been really into this whole Human Trafficking. This is not the only time I have heard this and it won't be the last. I feel like this whole thing with helping human trafficking thing is like KONY 2012. People have such a high after seeing video's and hearing the story of these victims. We all get pumped and excited about helping the victims and soon enough the high wears off. The problem I think for many including myself is that we want to help as much as possible but we're told that the only way we can help is by praying, giving, and spreading the word about it. I don't know about you but that's not enough for me. What's next after that?

Recently I have discovered someone close me is caught up in human trafficking. Now I thought that praying, giving, and making people aware was enough. But this has now hit close to home and those answers are not good enough. I have almost lost hope in the fact that it will actually work. I personally want to go in and take this person out and help them. I don't know how though. I need your guys help to help me figure out how I can help this person get out of this. If anyone out there has information besides praying, giving, and spreading the word let me know. Time is a factor...we don't have much time. We can't lose another women to human trafficking especially one of the people in my family I will not stand to let the devil to take another person out of my life.

I've Learned

This pretty much sums up everything I have learned through out High School. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. And it's not the end of the world. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I've learned that it's not what happens to people, It's what they do about it. I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't. I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done When it needs to be done regardless of the consequences. I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. I've learned to love and be loved.       Omer B. Washington

The end is Near

I have come to realize that I only have 15 more days left of my high school career. Woof! that's crazy seems just four years ago, all of us were awkward pre-teens ready to embark on the long journey of high school. Fours years is a long time, but it seems like it all just happened yesterday. Elementary school, middle school, high school; it all feels like it happened in a flash. People were not lying when they said high school goes by like a blink of an eye. I'm not going to say my high school experience was perfect. I'm not going to say that I didn't have some regrets, or missed opportunities. Every one of us went through the good times and the rough patches. But I wouldn't trade my high school experience for anything else. Everything that has happened to us, everything we have been through, has made us into who we are today. And it's these experiences, these life lessons, that we will take with us into the next step of our lives.

I'm going to openly admit I'm scared out of my mind to really be starting the rest of my life. I thought I would enjoy this more than anything, but I have spent so many sleepless nights worrying about my future. How many times have you heard someone wonder what God’s will was for their life? How many times have you wondered about what his plan was for your future? These two questions are the one's that haunt me the most.

I just finished my last high school prom last weekend. I have been told many times by teachers that if you say prom was the high light of your four years in high school than you have not lived a normal high school career. Now I admit prom was not the high light of my high school career. One thing about this is that so many kids have so many great expectations for this one night but many of these kids expectations fail to meet what they wanted. So I have been thinking what if this is how my future is going to be? I have been so excited for when I graduate and start off in the "real world" What if I have had so many expectations and when I finally get out there it fails to meet everything that I wanted it to be? Just thinking about this has brought so many questions to mind. Like also what if we all make a big deal about how our life will be after death. We will live heaven with Jesus but What if it isn't what we expect what if it's worse than we were promised or even imagine?

Because Jesus is alive, We can be Holy

On my college visit last weekend I got to attend Autumn Ridge Church. As soon as I stepped into the church I just knew that this is the church I would be attending if this is where I go to college next year. Below is the sermon with a few side notes of my own that Pastor C. John Steere gave that day. Awesome side note about Pastor John he has an English accent!

"Many, if not all of us, regard the subject of holiness as either impractical or impossible. Yet one of the extraordinary results of the cross and resurrection is that, "we have been made holy" This passage tells us how, and answers the objections we raise at the idea that we can be holy people."

Hebrews 10:1-18

Objection 1: Holiness is Beyond Me

• But Jesus made a Perfect Sacrifice
• We have been made holy Hebrews 10:10

Objection 2: My past Prevents Holiness

• But my Failures have all been erased
• Jesus has made us perfect Hebrews 10:17; Luke 5:8; John 21:17

Objection 3: I can't Maintain Holiness

• But God's Perfection is written on my mind
• He writes it on our mind, heart, soul by the Holy Spirit

Holiness is a decision you make everyday of your life. It's not something you turn on and off.

Got the Holiness habit?

Some very intelligent people are quite stupid

I have been contemplating for a while to post this or not for a long time. This is one of the hardest post I will hopefully ever post. I need to do this to deal with everything. So I hope you guys can be nice with what you say in responding to this post. Well here goes nothing...

I was watching the new Footloose with a friend the other day. I have never seen the original movie but this one was really good I enjoyed it a lot. Not knowing what to expect I was surprised by all the bible references that were used in the movie and all the realistic scenarios that happen in real life. The one thing that got me was that Julianne Hough was in such an abusive relationship. This hit close to home.

I believe that most of us, especially those of us who have mental health disorders, feel guilt in situations where we have no business whatsoever feeling guilt.

It is easy to just look at our behavior, the situation and ourselves and say "I'm guilty! I am ashamed." Now let's back up a bit here.

When I say look at ourselves, it might benefit most of us to look a little deeper. We are complex, complicated creatures and our motivation for doing or not doing something is not just based on our personality, our will, etc.
What do I mean? Let me give you an example of something that may help you see this picture more clearly.

I had been seeing a man who was extremely emotionally, verbally, physically abusive. Now of course I was not aware of his abuse issues at first but I will admit that I saw red flags right from the start.

Example the first time we hung out just the two of us...we weren't able to get in his dorm building, but after two tries and finally having to call security to get us in we finally got in. Crazy side note that I feel is valid here while the guy I was hanging out with was talking to the other security guy...The other two security guards turned to me and asked how old I was. Of course being kinda scared I didn't want to get into trouble I told them my age. Than they later proceeded to ask me why I was wasting my time with this guy? The was probably the tenth warning I had gotten that day that I shouldn't have been there but I didn't listen to all of these signs.

The situation I recently faced was a history of 8 or 9 months seeing this guy, addicted to him, and no matter how much I complained to him about his behavior, I kept going back. I would continue to go back into a little denial that really he is not abusive and that one day he would change and Id be that girl that changed him. I had a very difficult time facing reality because like any addiction, I would occasionally get what I call "adrenalin shots." These "shots" kept me hooked in a situation that I could not get out of. I could not get out of this relationship.

I did notice as I worked harder to get out, he trumped up his abuse. Finally the abuse became so bad that  this relationship wasn't just affecting me. It was affecting the people around me that loved me and couldn't watch me go through this. I had to make a choice to stick with someone I cared deeply about but didn't care about me or end this abusive relationship.

Of course I knew it was my responsibility to get out I noticed that every time I tried to get out I felt sick. I prayed and prayed to God and asked Him to assist me, but I couldn't get out and if I got close to getting out he knew just how to suck me back in. Wonderful words he would say - tell me just what I needed to hear.
During this time I felt TREMENDOUS guilt that I could not leave the relationship. It was humiliating to keep enduring his abuse. Every one told me he was playing head games with me, playing with me, etc. This knowledge was very difficult to assimilate and I so needed to believe that he truly loved and cared about me and that I was special to him. I felt I couldn't face any other reality, as it was too painful.

Evangelism (The Great Commission)

I'm sitting here with my bible and my journal open getting prepared for this week again. I do this every year and still some how I can't spark up the conversation. You see every year my best friend takes the 170 mile trip to come down and spend a week with me and like wise I spend a week with her. Sharing Christ with her is difficult for me for some reason. I feel that it's easier to share with her Christ when she's here so again I prepare to share my faith with her.  Now that we are both graduating it will be even harder to keep in touch and make sure she knows Jesus. I know for a fact the only Christ interaction she gets is when she is with me. We have had little conversations about Christ that sparks when she comes and watches the mime. This trip however will be the last time before we graduate and she goes off to basic that she will get to hear about Christ from me. I have however noticed she has had some interest in knowing who Jesus is. She has been asking me a bunch of questions about him even questions I don't know how to answer. She is hungry for Jesus and I have no clue how to feed that hunger. So being the person I am I do what I do best and I researched about what to do. This is what I found:

Mark 16:15
"Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."

How to live it out:
Be a witness by friendship; Your love and acceptance can be a better open door for Christ than a tract hastily thrown at someone
Ask God for opportunities to speak for him; He might show you a verse you can use. He'll definitely give you the courage to speak when you need to.
Rely on the Holy Spirit; You can't talk someone into becoming a Christian. Trust the Holy Spirit to work int he person's heart (John 15:26)

Non-believers aren't going to hell for believing in other religions
Truth is Truth whether we choose to believe it or not. God it truth (John 14:17) He doesn't change (Hebrew 13:8)
Lost people are going to hell because they are sinners (Romans 3:23;6:23) Sin-not a faulty religion- is what separates our friends from God

A friend of mine recently passed away. It was totally unexpected. She was murdered. Why!? She was so young...Why Her!? Why was that God's will for her!? My mind is blown away like Why would this happen? This has raised so many questions about God and why he does some of the stuff he does. If he didn't want us to sin than why did he create it? Why are we taking the wrath of Adam and Eve's mistakes. Why are we automatically sinners once we get out of the womb?? What was the purpose of her being murdered? Like what is he trying to show us by taking someone away from us?? How can you believe in something and not question it? I came across these to scriptures while doing a bible study and it pretty much answered my disbelief's I had. It's so weird how God works sometimes. Even though I don't like the answers I got...I still got answers

Blue Like Jazz

I'm reading Blue Like Jazz right now. Here is a few things that have really hit me while reading this book.
Chapter 2:“If you don’t love somebody, it gets annoying when they tell you what to do or what to feel. When you love them you get pleasure from their pleasure, and it makes it easy to serve. I didn’t love God because I didn’t know God.”

Chapter 3: “The whole idea of everybody wanting to be somebody new was an important insight in terms of liking God. God was selling something I wanted. Still, God was in the same boat as the guy selling knives and Juliet promising to make Romeo new. Everybody exaggerates when they are selling something. Everybody says their product works like magic. At the time, I understood God’s offer as a magical proposition, which it is. But most magical propositions are just tricks. The older you get, the harder it is to believe in magic. The older you get, the more you understand there is no Wizard of Oz, just a schmuck behind a curtain”

Chapter 5:Teaches us we will never be able to understand everything and that is where faith comes in. Don’t get me wrong, Christianity is not based on faith alone, but also by our lives. We should be able to show with our lives the secret of having Christ in our lives and the passion and strength and everything else that it gives us to make us become truly alive in life. These are the types of things you see when you see someone who is not a believer come to Christ and that is what it is all about. Our lives should be our greatest example of who we have in God and in Christ. It’s simple, but so amazing

Chapter 7: "Rick tells me, looking back, that he was too proud to recieve free grace from God. He didn't know how to live within a system where nobody owes anybody else anything. And the harder it was for rick to pay God back, the more he wanted to hide. Though he understood that God wanted nothing in return, his mind could not communicate this fact to his heart, so life was something like torture..........
I would hear about grace, read about grace, and even sing about grace, but accepting grace is an action I could not understand. It seemed wrong to me not to have to pay for my sin, not to feel guilty about it or kick myself around.More than that, did not seem like the thing I was looking for. It was too easy. I wanted to feel as though I earnedmy forgiveness as though God and I were buddies doing favors for"each other.

Psalm 32:1-6

I have come to relize the problem wont likely just "go away" I do however understand that God wants me to be safe from harm. I was challegned to read Psalm 32 and write down what it means to me.
(Psalm 32:1-2) My transgressions are forgiven, my sins are covered and the Lord does not hold my sin against me.
A Forgiveness was a not a light thing to David. He regards himself as being "blessed" in receiving it. If we do not share David's appreciation for forgiveness, it is most certainly because we do not share his understanding of sin.

(Psalm 32:3-4)Unconfessed sin leads to a troubled heart.
At one time David thought he could escape the scrutiny of God; he thought it was possible to sin without God knowing it. David tried to cover up his sin. Many men and women today take the same approach – they bury themselves in their work, their career, their kids, their church or community activities so they don't have the time to think about their sin. All we need to is fall down on our knees and cry out with the publican, "Lord, have mercy on me a sinner!" (Lk 18:13).

(Psalm 32:5-6) Joy of forgiveness
By not confessing his sin, David was needlessly tormenting and torturing himself. So he finally confessed his sin to God. We read his confession in verse 5:
(Psalm 32:5) Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD" -- and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
This is not a quick "Forgive me my sins" appended to the end of a prayer like we so often do. David poured out to the throne of God his sin and his sinful nature.We cannot simply get down on our knees before God and expect forgiveness.

This Psalm tells us about the burden of guilt, the need for confession, and the joy of forgiveness. The main point of Psalm 32 is that if we confess our sins, God – out of grace – will forgive us our sins. First, we are forgiven by grace and through faith. Second, God wants us to confess our sins to Him so we can live in the joy of forgiveness.

Swear Not!

I’m going to make an admission. At home, I’m sometimes a little bit of a potty mouth.
I remember my first day in public middle school. My delicate virgin ears were burning by second hour, having heard words I never knew existed.
Now, it just doesn’t bother me like it used to. I don’t swear loudly in public or in front of elders or children and I don’t care for people who do. But swearing in movies or with friends just doesn’t get me all hot and bothered like it does some people.
Even if you’re a complete teetotaller when it comes to swear words, chances are you have a few choice exclamations you use. Guess what? If you fall down the stairs and repeatedly shout “sugar bricks!” people still know you’re swearing. When they dub over cuss words in movies, we all know what they’re saying. Any ten year old watching a TV movie knows they aren’t really saying “French toast” or “melon farmer.”
But if you aren’t ten years old and you write swear words, but censor yourself, you’re just lame. If you want to swear, then stop using swear words like a preteen girl. It’s not like taking the v*wels out of w*rds st*ps people from kn*wing what y*u’re saying. No one reads “d*mn” and says, “Gee, I don’t know what that means, but thank you for not sullying my pristine Christian mind with your dirty words.” Same with the whole “h-dash-dash-dash” thing. You’re not fooling anyone. Even if I typed a bunch of random symbols, I’d still look like a %*#@ loudmouth. See?
Why do people curse and swear? There's only one reason: authority. Now I openly admit that I swear for this exact reason. People want to sound forceful and authoritative when they speak, so they spice their speech up with all sorts of catchy little "power words". Unfortunately, such words often dishonor God, the Bible, and the Lord Jesus Christ. Friend, TRUTH is all of the authority you need. Just speak the truth as it is revealed in God's word and you'll have no use for "Christian cursing".

Awesome message I wanna share!

So in a prayer group I had last week, My good friend Jamin called me out on prayer. Now i confess Im not good at praying/ hate doing it( by that I mean I don't like speaking infront of others becuase of the fear of sounding stupid.) I'm perfectly fine with saying a prayer to myself though.
Prayer is one of the most important and most powerful spiritual tools in the Christian life. Yet if you ask most Christians about their prayer lives, you will find that most do not regularly pray and most can’t give a clear definition how to pray effectively. What does it take to develop an active prayer life?
We have all heard people say things like, "I have tried everything, now all I can do is pray". I recently said to someone  a similar situation and I had not prayed because I felt I could handle the situation but now it has grown beyond my control.
Today I was doing a bible study with a couple of friends when I was reading out loud and came across this:

"I only pray to God about big problems and don’t bother God with the little things".  "To God, every problem is little". How true that is. We struggle needlessly simply because we do not ask. This is one of the craziest things ive ever come across. I literally was talking to someone about pray and how I didn't think it works etc...than all of I come across this. Ironic i think not! I'm pretty sure this might be the first time I've actually heard something from Jesus. My mind is blown away right now!

Godly Fathers

I'm going to let you guys inside a little of my personal life. I'm seeing someone, and he has a daughter. Don't judge (If you want to know more just ask).I know I know most of you are probably freaking about what I just said, well there's a reason why I told you this. There is one thing I don't like about him, it's the way he fathers his own child. Now I know I don't know anything about being a parent, but I do know/ have been told how a father should act.
Godly Fathers are Godly Men:
It's not fair to say to a child," Do as I say, not as I do" than just bail out. Children must be able to see example of Christ in their fathers.Paul says to his spiritual children in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ." Until men by faith follow in the example of Christ themselves, they cannot be godly examples for their own children

Godly fathers love their children unconditionally:
 I think of the father of the prodigal son who stood waiting and watching for his son to return to him (Luke 15:20). When he finally did return, the father didn’t judge the son or force him to earn back his favor, love, and approval. He simply embraced him and threw a celebratory party for his son (Luke 15:21-24). He could do this because his love for his son wasn’t based upon what his son could do for him but simply and strictly upon the fact that he was his son.

Godly fathers train their children how to love and honor God:
The willingness and ability to train in righteousness is the call of every godly father. Kids aren’t stupid. In fact, they are a lot smarter than most parents give them credit for. They can tell when religious rituals are empty or hypocritical, and even though the child might come to know the Bible inside and out, he or she will likely develop a hatred or bitterness towards Christianity if the only Christianity the child knows is vain and ugly.Discipline reinforces these realities through imposing consequences. But it must be evident to the children when they are being disciplined that the father’s love for them has not changed. Discipline is never aligned with wrath because it is kindness that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4). Discipline is simply another expression of love (Deuteronomy 8:1-6, Hebrews 12:6).
Godly fathers seeks to give his children good gifts such that his children are blessed through him:
Of course, love and discipline and the training of the Lord in righteousness are blessings of eternal value, but godly fathers go beyond just spiritual gifts to seeking to give good gifts of all kinds. Spoiling is not the purpose of giving good and perfect gifts. Rather, the purpose of such provisions and blessings is the security that God cares about us perfectly and intimately. Knowing that He knows what we need and that He cares about what we want and hope for is so important in our relationship with Him. In the same way, earthly fathers should seek to be in tune with what their children hope for, desire, and need such that they can wisely meet and address those needs and wants. A father’s wisdom is a blessing and security to his children as they can trust what he does for them and gives to them.

Female Porn

I saw "The Vow" last night. I'm not much for a sappy love story, but for some reason I wanted to see it. I don't know why but I expect more than what I actually got. Movies like this are female  porn...Yes you heard me I said female porn. Unlike guys female porn isn't sexual, its romantic. Movies like this give us ladies a warped view of men. In a two-hour sitting this perfect man saves the world, romances the girl, and takes her on the ride of a life time. You watch this and you fantasize about your hero. You become aroused by what you see and hear on the screen. You desire it. You dream about it.

This stuff turns you on so much because it takes advantage of that God-given desire you have. Your inborn desire to be rescued and revealed as beautiful. For two hours you soar with the feelings of being saved by your knight and shining armor. And suddenly you long for the man on the screen.

Then you are released into the world of real man with real flaws who cannot satisfy the desire in you that was ignited by female porn. If you have a man, consciously or subconsciously, you are doing the same thing men do to women by dreaming of that supermodel-you are imposing and impossible set of demands on your guy. If you don't have a man, you feel depressed because you are so alone. The worst thing you can do if you feel horrible about being alone is to go watch a chick flick or read a romance novel.You'll get a man in good time, and all the daydreaming in the world won't make him come along any faster. It will only make your solitude more miserable.

So be careful, ladies. Female porn is every bit destructive as male porn. Protect your mind. Protect your heart. Refocus your energy and your mind. Where you put your thoughts, your heart's gonna follow.

Where are all the real men?

With Valentines Day coming up I thought I would write something about love.

Society at large can't make up its mind about men. How can a man know he is one when his highest aim is minding his manners? Men: did you ever dream of becoming a nice guy? Ladies: was the prince of your dreams dashing or merely nice? It's about guys standing up and taking on the role as men. Fierce, powerful, protective, passionate men. Girls are messing things up because gender-confused guys have forced girls into becoming the men. Guys have let the girls take control while they just sit back. That's not the way it was designed.

Rules that need/should be followed.

Guys purse it:
If you're too sacred to ask her, then you're not man enough to go out with her. But listen, being scared is not a bad thing. I'm guessing all men get scared when it comes to asking a girl out. Don't expect her to call you. Don't expect her to ask you out. Do something. Be the man. Take a chance. Ask. Hey, no chase, no challenge. No challenge no reason to stay with her.
Girls purse it:
So, girls, sit back and let guys come after you. A guy needs to pursue. Let him be the aggressor and make him want to fight to know the deepest you.

Guys plan it:
Well when you go on a date, have a plan.  It doesn't have to be minute-by-minute schedule of events, but you need a general idea of what's going to happen. Do some advance work too. If something is important to you, you will invest a lot of time in it. If you ask a girl out, you'd better plan the date.
Girls plan it:
Give him suggestions for what you would like. But let him take the ball and do what it takes to make it happen. Don't accept excuses if he never plans anything either. If he isn't willing to plan something for you, he isn't really interested in you.

Guys cover it:
When you ask out a girl, be ready to pay. Plan something that doesn't cost big bank. You gotta pay to play. If she's worth asking out, she's worth doing something that you pay for.
Girls cover it:
The guy has to step it up and reach in his pocket. Girls your job is to suggest new, fun, free or low rent things you can do together, and his job to plan the details. Remember, it's not the cash value but spending the time together that's important.

Guys back off:
give up the pursuit of physical favor and back off. I'm talking about any physical gesture, any pay-off. Guys, it is not your right to take it. Your job as a real man is to guard her body. That means even from yourself. If you play to win, you gotta play the whole game. What she wants is a relationship that will last. Be a man. Take control.
Girls pay off:
Giving you affection to a guy right away doesn't make you more valuable. You just give him a prize without making him fight for it. if you want a guy to know how valuable you are, you have to act like you are valuable.

You have to pursue, plan, and pay in order to get the prize.

What if my faith was different?

"What if my faith was different?? I find myself asking this question a lot. I mean what if I lived life with God as my main focus? Should that be more of my focus? Am I doing okay in my faith? should it be stronger? I was once told that my faith should be what I want it to be not what people tell me it should be."

This sectioin written above was written by a friend that I have become closer too lately. This has really made me thinking about how I am in my walk of faith. I know when I first started this blog I wanted it to so see how far I have come in my faith. I'm not going to lie I have come closer but not as near as far as I want to.

My new years resolution for 2011:

1. Not let the little things in life bring me down
2. When something bad happens just remember hey it could be worse and think how great my life is.
3. Become closer in my faith (build a stronger relationship with Jesus)
4. Mend things with my brothers (if even possible)
5. Figure out what i want to do when i graduate high school
6. Appreciate my parents more than i do.
7. Find a good mentor (so i don't keep all my emotions/problems to myself)
8. Get good rest on school nights
9. Enjoy Life :)
10. Take lots of picture with my Christmas present (thanks mom and dad)

This list up here seemed so simple at the time when I was writing it. All in all at the end some were easier than others but I struggled with a few of them. #10 was the easiest thing on my list. #3 was/is still the hardest thing for me. #6 I respect my parents more...but lets face it im not a perfect child. #5 Still in the process of deciding what to do. This is just a list of a few successes and struggles I faced through out the year of 2011. I would actually really like to go more in depth about #3.

I thought that #3 would have been the easiest things on my list. Boy was i way wrong. It started off rough but than got way better. I was attending church on sundays, wednesdays, in a small group and doing a one on one bible study, and trying to read my bible every night. I was really exhuasted but I was filled. It was a good exhuastion. Something I really needed and wanted. Than I was talking to someone and they asked me what all I did with my free time. I told them that out of the seven days of the week I was spending four days of the week based around God. She told wow you do way too much with God. I didn't know it was possible to do too much with God. I don't know why but for some reason what she really said affected me alot. Now I barely even do one thing a week related to Jesus. I finally know why this affect me. Let's just say Satan is really good at his job. I really hope I can get back to high point. If anyone has any pointers to help with this...it would be much appreciated. Again I would just like to reflect of the the statement I put above.

"What if my faith was different?? I find myself asking this question a lot. I mean what if I lived life with God as my main focus? Should that be more of my focus? Am I doing okay in my faith? should it be stronger? I was once told that my faith should be what I want it to be not what people tell me it should be."

challenge to “men of courage”

Courageous... This movie is so great, if you haven't seen it than stop reading and watch it than come back! This movie made us laugh and cry. Now watching this movie made me realize that it's more meant for guys. This opened my eyes to just reflect on my father and how I want my future husband to be like. It shows us how a real father should be. “Courageous” is a challenge to “men of courage,” to fathers to measure up to the Biblical definition of the word. This movie is hard cold fact that we need more fathers in the world like God. I know that some guys that watch this movie will not live to the standards of what this resolution is asked. Guys need to know that they are the leaders, protectors, servants, and many more. Pictured down below is the RESOLUTION that they agreed upon in the movie. If you are a Godly man you will accept this challenge that God has given you.
"No one wants to settle for being a good-enough father. But we all could use a little encouragement as we strive to become Godly fathers."

One Question

I have one question to ask all you guys and would love for you to leave a comment or send me a message
The question: What is the gospel message?