I have been given the chance to become really close to this young man named Jason lately. I already cherish the time and intimate conversations we are able to have. This young man has been able to push me and make me think. He loves to always ask why. He's like a child in a since always asking why. At first it got very annoying but after a while I understand why he does it. Recently we have been able to talk later a night till about midnight for the last week or so. We're able to talk openly with each other about pretty much everything. One night he asked why I was at CrossRoads College. Being the person I am I said," to get an education" Then he said no, you're not answering my question why are you here? you can get an education anywhere, but why here out of all the other places in the world? I honestly don't know the answer myself to this question.

I have been thinking about this question a lot lately. I want to know why I'm really here. I honestly can't answer this question. I don't know why I'm here. The only thing I can say is that God wanted me here for  a reason. If any of you know me before I came here I struggled so much with actually going to school. I honestly still thinking to this day that I'm not called to go to school. I think that it's a waste of time especially when I could just go out and do what Jesus wants me to do. The only problem is that I don't know what my calling is. I have been trying to figure this out for a while. The other reason I am here where I am is because I promised my best friend I would come and try at least a semester before I shoot it down. She kept up her side so I had to keep up mine.

It hit me today that I finally think I know what it is. Ever since I have seen the movie Taken I have heard something about human trafficking everyday. I didn't really notice it at first. Just a little reference or something stupid that made me remind me of it. This has been happening for about a year and a half now. The only problem with this is that it affects with my plans with being able to help kids. So I didn't feel called to this because I knew if this is what I was suppose to do it would some how involve kids. I just let this pass by for months now. When I moved to Rochester I have been praying to God asking why do you want me here? What's my plan? How am I going to glorify you? I feel like it was a never ending prayer so I finally got fed up. One night when I was sitting in a room full of people I got extremely lonely so I left and took a walk by myself. I walked up to the hill looking over the city of Rochester.

As I sat there I let my pandora station play while I laid there just asking God what do you want me to do? Why am I here? If there is a reason I ask you to make it clear to me why I'm here. The next day at chapel we had two different speakers come in that were CrossRoad graduates. One that graduated and is now part of Cupcake Girls in Oregon. She goes into strip clubs at nights and loves on the girls that are victims of human trafficking. I thought to myself this is great Jesus, but it's not what I'm called to do because it doesn't involve kids what so ever. After she spoke another CrossRoads college graduate spoke. She told us how she was part of a group called mission 21 here in Rochester. Yes, people you are right it's another human trafficking organization. This isn't your ordinary organization though. It's a organization to help kids under the age of 18. Wow, I was blown away a human trafficking organization specializing in kids!? In fact the only one in Minnesota.

She later proceed to tell us more about the organization and invited us all to go to the banquet that they are having to raise money. She told us that if we wanted to help that they had a work shop she wanted us to take so we could help out. Me, being the stupid person I am said to God if this is really what you want me to do than you will make it come to me. I know really stupid there's been enough signs already. But hey I'm stubborn in that way. So I left it at that.

That was last Thursday that I said that. I'm not going to lie but everything I did this weekend some how had human trafficking in the kid range pop up. What really got me was the movie End of Watch. I actually recommend that movie to everyone. I finally prayed last night and said enough is enough it's not going to happen. Today when my friend Jason and I were walking to the soccer game professor Kimber stopped me when we were walking. We made some small talk than she just got right down to it. I have never had Kimber as a professor yet I will however if I choose to stay with my phycology major though. I have maybe said hi once when she was introduced to me at the beginning of the year. She turns to me and says we're having a work shop on Tuesday about mission 21 at 11. I know you talked to me about it before so I thought I should tell you about this. I have never talked to her about it ever. I told her that and she was like well some how I knew I was suppose to tell you about this I hope to see you there. It's right there on a silver platter this is what I think I'm suppose to do. I'm going to that meeting and we will see where it takes me. I hope this is truly what Jesus has called me to do.

Think outside of the box

My friend Jason showed me Messy Monday videos last night. We watched this video than got in a pretty heated discussion. My friend Jason loves to argue. Well, he likes know everything and always ask why so he can get the whole perspective. We were talking about judging Christians and if it's OK to kick people out of the church. Now I believe that we have no right to tell people that their not Christians. He than asks me if we can we be like Paul? My answer is we can strive to be Paul but we can never be Paul. So in reality I feel that we don't have the right to kick people out of the church. He than asks me again can we be like Paul? I again say the same answer. He then says so we can be like Paul? I said yes this time. So he proceeds to ask if we strive to be like Paul we can kick people out of the church than? How do you stand on this whole thing about judging Christians and if it's OK to kick people out of the church?