This is it

This is it guys life has really just hit me. There is so much going on right now this week and its only Monday. I'm over whelmed and stressing out. I just learned about 10 minutes ago my neighbor back is Wisconsin lost her mother today. She was amazing and had a daughter a year younger than me and a son i don't know how old and a wonderful husband. She got hit and killed in a car accident. Its so weird to think that someones there one day and the next their gone. I cant even to begin to wrap my head around it. The future...its really starting to scare me. I wish i knew what i was called to do or at least know if i should even go to college or not. Or just to know what i should be doing tomorrow. My friend already knows what she's doing. She's going to basic 3 weeks after graduating. She's got the 6 months after she graduates planned out and me I've only been on one college visit. Man do i feel far behind or what? Not only do i not know what to do after high school but i am put to these high standards set by my mother and my brother. Honestly i don't even like what they want me to so...but i hate to disappoint them. Now the last thing I'm going to be down about is a few friends. Now i love my friends so much...but not when Jesus has done so much for them and once one little thing gets in there way they doubt him(i have not right to really talk about this). Now not all doubt is bad. There's good doubt which will lead you to explore your faith and grow you closer to him. Than there's bad doubts which keep you from being effective in God's kingdom. Now on the positive side I got to talk to my sister for a good 2 hrs today. It was great we talked about a lot of stuff. I was amazed to see her talk about God. She's actually a lot further in her faith than i thought. It was nice to finally get to talk to someone in my family about my faith than actually hiding it! Now i feel like one less person in my family i have to talk to about Jesus. I know she's heading down the right path. Now i pray when i go up to see my brother in a few weeks he just uses me and just speaks through me. Lastly  i want you all to hear about my Tuesday mornings bible study girls. These girls are amazing! They have helped me so much these past few months. Not only are they physically there for me but they lift me up when i get down with my faith they keep my spark for wanting to know more about Jesus alive! These girls are doing such amazing things for Christ this summer. They are truly loving on people.